September 19, 2010

Endings...and beginings

This week is sort of the end of an era - my baby girl turns one. She is our "last ever" baby - this is us now - our family feels right, complete. Usually as one of our kiddies turn one we are either pregnant, thinking of getting pregnant, or trying to!! Nope, not this time - no nagging feeling, no knowing that there is still one of us not yet here.
I think back to the last 7-8 years, a whirlwind, laughing, crying, laughing, and pure, pure love.
I remember all 4 births, the pain, the beauty - the very hated hospital stays. All very different, and each birth bringing us a new person, different to the one before, and binding securely to each of our souls.
I remember siblings, meeting for the first time - realizing that there really was a mini person inside of Mummy. Harry met Connor with a poke in the eye and called his new brother "Donna" for the few more months it took for him to pronounce his "C's".
Harry met Jed with lots of love and cuddles, Connor met his "Jeddy Pants" with relative disinterest!!
And then came the little Sis - Harry was overwhelmed and shy from all if the people in the room, Jed needed to tell everyone "Baby, it is a baby!!", and then Connor - he walked straight up to where I was holding Bella, cupped his hands over her head, and then my (then) 4 year old took my breath away - "Mummy..... she is just perfect". He had love and wonder in his expression, my Connor was in complete awe of his newest sibling.
I get to watch my people together everyday. They are normal kids - lots of playing, usually with an equal amount of fighting/arguing ect. I hope the sibling bond they share holds tight forever, long after I am gone. I hope they accept that each of them are so very special, and different, and that is ok.

And to my darling Harry - no, I will not have any more kids so you can have another sister, and Im sure you will thank me for this one day - Bella is going to drive you boys crazy!!!!!!!

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